Is it a mental thing or a competitive thing? hmmmm

I participated in the fun run with the rest of the 916. I started at the Black gate surrounding Maintenance, ran the entire way to the race, ran the course of the race and back. I thought I did pretty well. The race had already started by the time we got there yet I was still able to finish before some who started on time. However, when I went out to run that same course 2 days later, I could barely get the first mile in before stopping. Was it because no one was there to watch and/or compete against? Or did I retreat back into my thoughts of painful injuries from running outside.

I enjoyed the fun run so much that I forgot how much it bothers my hip and knee to run outside. The camaraderie promoted by the fun run, as well as the 'light' competitive edge just makes you want to go out there and do your best.

Upon completing the run, I felt like I could have run another couple of miles before quitting. Yet, 2 days later, I could barely get a mile in before I had to stop! Why was that? Was it because no one was there to compete against or was it because I realized I was running outside and putting undo pressure on my knee and hip?

I don't know the answer, but I do know it bothered me a great deal running that course 3 times without success (completing it without stopping). I was determined I was not going to let this beat me!!

I finally succeeded on the fourth try. I ran that course and then some!! Then turned around and ran the course again a second time. In my mind I could hear Kevin Davis in OSS saying "I just can't stop!" I said it over and over again in my mind.... and didn't stop until I couldn't lift my legs anymore. Though it was only approx. 5.25 miles that I had run, it was a big accomplishment for me since I had failed 3 previous times. Ah, the joy of victory. I ran that course a couple of times since, again with success so maybe it was a mental thing.

Thanks to the fun run, I was able to rebuild my confidence of running outside and not letting my 'injuries' get in the way. I continue to run the course, a little further each time, building strength and endurance. I'll be ready for the next run... I'll be better and enjoy it all the more. Mental or competitive? Who cares as long as I don't let either stop me!!

The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat

Victory was almost mine.

That's right- me. The non-runner. I led the female division of a 10K right to the near end. It felt great. It was hard. My lungs and side hurt, but when I turned around at the half-way mark and realized that I was in first place, it motivated me a bit more. Could I really win something like this? Just think about my little boy's expression if he knew mommy won something. I could do it.

But in the end, I couldn't. Another, faster, better, more seasoned-runner passed me around the last 1/4 mile. I thought to myself that I couldn't give up. I could keep up with her. I'd let myself run 5 3/4 miles and I couldn't let her win. I tried. I failed. Then I did something I never do-- I stopped! But only for a few brief seconds. I had felt the twinge of possible victory, but now the agony of defeat was present. I quickly picked myself up though and told myself to keep running. I had never intended on winning- that was just a bonus to be able to lead for that amount of time. I know she deserved it.

I think of how our folks must feel when they don't pass a section of the fit test. At that moment it is over for them. But the reality is that you must keep going. You have to pick yourself up and score well on the other areas. Don't quit. Don't give up. Show yourself that while it might not be your victory day, that all is not lost. And then tomorrow, brush yourself off and try harder. It's a choice we all make... and we can choose to be winners and keep going no matter what.

What I love

I love the fact that there are a number of you out there that make it a point to stop by my office to tell me about your fitness test. First, I'm proud of you! The scores vary widely, but I always see that sense of accomplishment on your face. A few of you know that you have some work to do. I've had many conversations about push-ups and goals. You're taking the necessary steps to get yourself to where you need to be, and I applaud that effort.

Secondly, thank you. You might not know it, but our conversations, your victories and your defeats help motivate me too. I've had a tough few months. My self-motivation level is low. But your stories, smiles, and willingness to share your fitness milestones help me keep going. I just did 15 push-ups. They were terrible- maybe 1/2 would have counted. I thought about the two folks that came into my office today to tell me about their workouts. I smiled. Tomorrow I'll push myself in a 10K. I'm not ready, but I'm ready to keep doing what I need to to stay fit and keep you knowing that you're not alone and I appreciate your support. Tomorrow's for you!

Integrity- you gotta have it!

I'm on steroids.

Now before you gasp and turn white, I'm not on the Marion Jones/Barry Bonds kind, but on a medically-prescribed kind to clear up this bronchitis once and for all. Oddly enough when I asked the doc if I could keep exercising, he said yes. He thought it would help. But that I shouldn't run outside for about a week. It's killing me too because the weather here is beautiful.

I watched an ESPN segment with my husband not long ago on Marion Jones and since I've been wanting to write about integrity in training for a while, I thought this gave me a better segway.

Jones was a professional. The best in her field. Untouched, remarkable, a winner. Her story calls into question the need to cheat the system when all you have to do is work a little harder. Integrity is a core value for Airmen. Something at the end of the day that really means something to a job well done, that means something to the American public. Our fitness standards have become more difficult, although I'd venture to say the standards have always been the same, it's just the administering of the standards is new.

Integrity means not cheating the system. Integrity means knowing that the rules apply to you and that you have the power to do better. Not meeting the standards once seems acceptable if you're testing for the first time, but once you know where you should be then it is up to you to get there. I promise you that you can do it. I've just passed the year mark for my workout routine. Integrity to me is not only doing it because the Air Force says I must, but doing it for me because I feel and look better at the end of the day. Integrity is a personal choice by all of us. It can't be forced upon us, it has to come from within. Ensure you're not just saying it's a core value, make it one!

Mercy me, I'm over the finish line!!!

It's official folks. Last month I took my f2f test and blessedly passed with a score that will enable me to go a year before taking another!!! WHEW! Am I glad that's over with. Why is it we stress so much over a test that some of us (like myself) do everyday? I get myself so worked up over this test that I make myself sick. Why? I run every couple of days - usually 3-4 miles; I bench press and use hand weights, and I do core exercises (which takes the place of sit-ups). So why do I stress over this test. Maybe because it's just that... a test! Some of us have anxiety attacks over taking tests; and though I've never had that problem... until now... it is apparently a serious issue. However, once I begin my test, I forget that its a test. I think of it as simply going out to do my daily workout.
Because it was important for me to do better this year than I did last year, I had TSgt Glen Brogdon pace me. That's right! Mr. 100 himself, and you know what? It worked. Here's a hint folks: if you know someone whose pace is greater than yours and you want to aim higher, ask that person to come out and run with you. IT IS ALLOWED!!! It also helps to have someone running with you; tends to make you not feel so alone (misery loves company - lol).
But, I still have a lot of work to do. I've gained almost all my weight back, and, after giving my poor broken body a break, fell behind on my timed runs. So, I'm starting over again, slowly, so I'll be more than ready next year!! Another hint - don't wait until a month or two before your test to get in shape. It's easier to stay in shape than it is to get into shape!!
Until next time....

What I've lost

I've lost 5-10 pushups and some of my run time. My cough continues to linger making exercising more of a chore. I'm doing it though. Just did 20 push-ups although I'm sure they wouldn't have all been counted as proper. I hate to lose time off my run though. The 10K is still looming on Nov. 18, but I'm debating doing the 5K instead. Hopefully the cough will be gone by then, it will be a great-weather day and I'll feel like running for six miles!

The Air Force just released some very interesting stats on our new fitness program. While the program started off a bit rocky in July, there has been a steady increase in score results over the last few months. More than 80% of Airmen are passing the new test and a little over 40% are passing with excellent scores. That's definitely good news!